16-year-old not invited to a family friend's wedding, but is still expected to lend her $600 chocolate fountain: ‘I’m not close to any of them’

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Celeste Mello • Writer and Editor
Mar 24, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

This teen refuses to lend her expensive chocolate fountain for her mother's best friend's wedding, making it clear she owes no one anything and can stand up for herself even under family pressure.

Not everyone deserves to borrow our most treasured possessions. Just because someone has known your family for years doesn't mean they automatically have access to your stuff. It's important to distinguish yourself as an individual from your family as a group. Especially when you are a teen, the limits between yourself and your family are a bit blurry. When they are asked to do something they're uncomfortable with, many teens struggle with standing up to family expectations. Too often, they go along just to keep the peace, but set aside their own wishes. We should separate a family's wishes from each individual's wishes. While this can be really challenging for some parents, this 16-year-old girl knows exactly what she wants and understands she has the right to say no, even to her family.

This $600 chocolate fountain is a gift from her grandfather and is one of her most prized possessions. She's the one who gets to decide if anyone can borrow it. Sure, her mom and sister can point out their arguments, but the final decision is hers. And considering the couple is not inviting her to the wedding, there's no reason her personal boundaries should be overlooked just because her family wants to do a friendly favor. The fountain belongs to her, and if her mom's best friend needs one, she can totally rent one that has no sentimental value. 

If I were her, I would definitely find some good excuse not to share it and state it firmly and politely. You never know if they will treat it with care; it can also get damaged or lost, and if I really care about it, I would only lend it to a real friend or someone whom I really trust. Most people would have felt an obligation to help, but this wasn't about a simple chocolate fountain; it was about personal boundaries and respect. Sometimes saying no is the strongest thing you can do.

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  • A teenage girl staring, looking upset, reflecting a family conflict.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I 16f had my birthday in November my grandfather gifted me a $600 chocolate fountain with delicious expensive chocolate to put inside of it.
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  • The chocolate is way gone, but I still own the chocolate fountain. I do not use it a lot but it is one of my most prize positions.
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  • Some backstory, my sister has celiac disease so she cannot eat gluten so we decided to invite our family friends over so we could have a gluten-free chocolate fountain taste testing without risk of cross contamination.
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  • The family friend is my mother's best friend we will call her Cherry. Cherry has two daughters.
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  • One of her daughters has a boyfriend who is planning to propose soon. While they were at the house, they were talking about how they're gonna do their wedding.
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  • I wasn't paying much attention, but then I overheard nobody under 21 is allowed to come.
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  • I was a little bummed knowing I would probably still be under 21 by the time they get married, but it's not a big deal until they started talking about my chocolate fountain.
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  • Elegant chocolate fountain on a wedding dessert table, with melted chocolate flowing gracefully from top to bottom.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Maybe this will make me seem like a brat, but if I'm not invited to their wedding, I don't owe them anything
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  • However, my mom thinks I would be a person if I didn't let them borrow it because I've known them my whole life.
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  • But here's the thing I'm not close to any of them. Cherry is my mom's best friend.
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  • Her oldest daughter used to be my babysitter and her youngest daughter is my sister's best friend.
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  • so am I the a hle if I don't let her use my chocolate fountain. Update kinda I just talked to my mom and she said she never heard them make the comment about me not being able to come so she understands if I don't want them to use it but my sister still thinks I'm the a hole if I don't let them use it Edit I just wanted to clear some things up.
    via No_Entrepreneur_6017
  • These people have been in our family since before I was born. They aren't engaged yet, but they will be very soon my sister is 19 and they are waiting until she's 21 to have the wedding so that she can drink.
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  • Couple and guests clinking glasses at a wedding, sharing a joyful toast.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • They were telling my mom how much they wanted to have it at their wedding. My mom didn't see a problem with it on the other hand me I am not OK with this.
    via No_Entrepreneur_6017
  • If things go as according to plan, my mother and my father, and my sister will all attend the wedding and me and my 7 yr old brother will not be attending the wedding will probably not happen for another 2 to 3 years, which means I'll be 18-19 I do not expect them to not have their wedding until I'm 21.
    via No_Entrepreneur_6017
  • not_so_lovely_1 This guy hasn't proposed yet, let alone the couple booking a venue, setting a date and working out the guest list. I recon this conversation is about 3 years premature.
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  • Groovy YaYa "No, I am keeping it gluten free for sister and I don't want it used out of my supervision because of that and the sentimental value of it." Lock it down.
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  • Silver_Adagio138 NTA. It's not a commercial product. They can rent one. No one gets to loan out someone's property.
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  • Narniana NTA. Weddings get wild and reddit is full of stories of people borrowing stuff and damaging it without reparation. Even if you are indeed invited, think twice about lending the fountain.
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  • Either_Compote235 Speaking from experience, a chocolate fountain is temperamental and needs supervision. Chances are it will break down if it's left on its own. Don't lend it out.
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family dynamics respect confidence empowered family stories wedding party wedding planning best friends teenagers friends self respect self care
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