16-year-old not invited to a family friend's wedding, but is still expected to lend her $600 chocolate fountain: ‘I’m not close to any of them’

This teen refuses to lend her expensive chocolate fountain for her mother's best friend's wedding, making it clear she owes no one anything and can stand up for herself even under family pressure.

Not everyone deserves to borrow our most treasured possessions. Just because someone has known your family for years doesn't mean they automatically have access to your stuff. It's important to distinguish yourself as an individual from your family as a group. Especially when you are a teen, the limits between yourself and your family are a bit blurry. When they are asked to do something they're uncomfortable with, many teens struggle with standing up to family expectations. Too often, they go along just to keep the peace, but set aside their own wishes. We should separate a family's wishes from each individual's wishes. While this can be really challenging for some parents, this 16-year-old girl knows exactly what she wants and understands she has the right to say no, even to her family.

This $600 chocolate fountain is a gift from her grandfather and is one of her most prized possessions. She's the one who gets to decide if anyone can borrow it. Sure, her mom and sister can point out their arguments, but the final decision is hers. And considering the couple is not inviting her to the wedding, there's no reason her personal boundaries should be overlooked just because her family wants to do a friendly favor. The fountain belongs to her, and if her mom's best friend needs one, she can totally rent one that has no sentimental value. 

If I were her, I would definitely find some good excuse not to share it and state it firmly and politely. You never know if they will treat it with care; it can also get damaged or lost, and if I really care about it, I would only lend it to a real friend or someone whom I really trust. Most people would have felt an obligation to help, but this wasn't about a simple chocolate fountain; it was about personal boundaries and respect. Sometimes saying no is the strongest thing you can do.

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